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10/04/2003 Archived Entry: "NO APPLE FESTIVAL FOR US"

NO APPLE FESTIVAL FOR US

I hate to even begin telling this story, and it’s only a small part of the day. We were rejected! We couldn't get into an apple festival. We drove all the way to Ft. Riley just to be turned away at the gate. How bad or dumb on our part is that, I ask?

I could tell we might be in trouble as we approached the gate at Ft. Riley. The road spikes weren't in our lane of traffic, which was encouraging, but there were multiple concrete barricades with big Xs on the front and car paint on the edges that we had to weave in and around. I suspect if you'd have a beer, you'd never make it.

We got to the gate, guarded by all manner of soldiers, nice and polite ones. Big guys. Big guns. We were told if we wanted to go to the Apple Festival we would need a pass. "A pass for an apple festival?" we asked incredulously.

It sounded like a simple thing. The guard said, "Go straight ahead and turn 'right there'", as he pointed it out to us, "then go back over the road spikes and take a left. Get your pass, and then come back here."

I thought we'd be asked to “print our full names, last name first, first name last and sign our signatures” on some official looking paper, they would write down our license plate number, stare at us a little, and then they’d issue our pass. I don’t know what was going through Linda’s mind. Whatever it was, we weren't even close.

The first thing he wanted was our IDs. I produced my driver’s license right away as, luckily, I had stuck it in my pocket even though I wasn't driving. That was too simple.

Linda fumbled for her ID and before she could produce it, the guard said, "I need your vehicle registration, proof of insurance and personal ID". Then he looked at me and I was waiting for him to ask me to prove I wasn't born on a cold bed of sand or give some explanation why I’d ride in a car that looked as if a dozen goats had just exploded in it.

We stripped that car looking for her vehicle registration. We finally found one for last year and he said that wouldn't do and he should issue us a citation.

"Wait", we both screamed in unison. And we started to tear the car apart again. I started with the headliners and she continued with her purse and glove compartment. She finally produced a receipt for her registration, which was current...and on it, it said she had provided proof of insurance.

Not good enough, he said. Now he’s beginning to view us like we were terrorists…and of course, we couldn’t argue. Anyone could tell that. We continued our search. By this time he suggested Linda call her agent who could verify her insurance. Sure, right... on Saturday we're going to find an insurance agent in his office? If I'd known, Brit and I would have arranged such a signal. How were we to know?

Finally growing impatient, he asked us nicely to "clear the area". We drove down the road a couple of miles by the river which looked liked a good place to get mugged. We started the search all over again. Amidst blue air, we just gave up. I know where those things are in MY car, but we weren't in MY car. “Don’t you have some press credentials”, I asked? “I never need them”, she said, “but I do have a steno pad. Do you think it will work to show him that?” Ha!

We have a friend, Michael Boss, who was speaking about Kansas riverboats at 4:00. Riverboats came up the Smoky as far as Solomon. There is a lot of history associated with them. Michael has painted some very authentic canvasses depicting these journeys. There were other speakers talking about riverboats and we wanted to hear them. Linda was going to get information for a riverboat story, the apples were a sideline. Now, she'll have to get the information some other way.

We’ll never hear the end of this from Mike. There was nothing in the flyer we saw about the festivities that said we’d have to go through all that at the gate. Of course, I will admit, most people have all that at the ready when they drive their car out of the driveway.

When I told Brit he looked at me like that guard did. "Did you think you were just going to waltz into a military fort and pick apples?” he asked. Well...yeah...I did, it was an apple festival with thousands of people showing up for it. How dangerous can apple festival goers be and why did they have it on the Fort in the first place?

On the way home I bought a good, crusty loaf of homemade bread for Brit. He loves it. I put it on the kitchen counter…toward the back. I just got home from the music festival at the high school and there was one little corner of the bread left. Jack ate the whole dang thing. That dog has been taking high jump lessons from my grandsons.

It has been a most unusual day. Not bad, not really good either. Nothing we’d planned happened and all this stuff we didn’t plan did happen. But the weather was near perfect and the scenery was lovely….we always take the back roads and poke around as we go. It’s the very best way to see Kansas.